How to spot fear and anger in others

by Sabrina Wang (@sabrinawangzq)

Fear and anger give bad advice is a core philosophy of the Mochary Method.

The best managers, whether a CEO or coach, are able to consistently identify fear and anger in others. It builds trust and creates valuable insights.

People get the greatest insights when they can ...

1. Put fear and anger aside (how to shift out of it)
2. Choose their thoughts and actions from a place of possibility

If you can spot fear and anger in others, this will result in efficiency and great decision-making from the people around you.

For example, once I called out a client’s fear that is telling him if he hires more, he’ll become a bad CEO who doesn’t do anything. As soon as he heard that, he pointed out that his fear doesn’t make any sense. He successfully shifted out of it and saw all the benefits in hiring. Then decided in 5 minutes he should move the hiring timeline even closer.

If you have a whole executive team who is willing to call you out on your fear and anger, you will course correct much quicker, sometimes multiple times a day.

So, how do you do that?

Part 1: Framing (fear and anger experiment)

The first thing to note is that you’ll feel uncomfortable pointing out fear and anger in others. We all have our own fears about being wrong, offending, or triggering someone.

My suggestion is to create a fear and anger experiment.

As the CEO, lead by example by being the one to propose this experiment. I recommend you start with your executive team. Share the “Fear and anger give bad advice” write-up with the team. Make sure the principle resonates with each person on the team — if it does not, this experiment will not work. Come to a collective agreement that radical candor is crucial in the company because it leads to more efficient communication and clearer thought processes.

If everyone agrees, you can start this experiment for one week:

• The executive team will surface any perceived fear or anger in the CEO and their peers. They will use the phrase, “I perceive you to be in anger.” This is because it’s the hardest to spot and announce fear or anger in the co-founders, and easier to do with peers.
• Each person will be encouraged to do this at least once in public or private settings, as soon as the emotions occur.
• Encouraging the executive team to name the emotions is more important than getting it right. The purpose of this exercise is to build a foundation of trust and transparency. The pressure of getting it right will be counter-productive.